Love Is Complicated.

Wednesday night I started bawling the second my feet hit the floor of my church. Read about it on my Paranormal Blog which I'm gonna change to a Spiritual Blog. Long story short: sermon was soul mate vs. dating.

I've had a total of 3 bf's. There was Nick who was my first kiss and my first love and like everything. I genuinely believed he was the one. I don't know what I believe any more...but we've been on and off for the last 3 1/2 years...but he's been dating this girl for a couple months now...I felt like he chose her over me...

The second was Wheeler. He kept my mind off of Nick and he would text me every night til I fell asleep. I liked him alot. We were better off as friends, though, and we ended up breaking up, but we're still cool. It was a mutual thing.

Josh was the last (not Milky. Different Josh). He played bass at my church...shaggy dark brown hair...and he was really sweet. Like...I don't know...but he got clingy. And he convinced himself he was in love with me. He barely knew me...I tried to go easy on him...I don't like to hurt people...I told him about Nick and about my family...he thought it was a trust thing; like it showed that if we were to get back together, it was a good established foundation. I didn't wanna get back together...to be completely honest, I didn't even know we dated the first time. I agreed to take it slow. I didn't mean as a couple...but I guess I broke up with him.

I've been talking to Austin since a couple months before I dated Wheeler. He's really sweet and funny and kinda hot haha but all the guys I've dated were hot. Actually, now that I think about it, they had similar features. What can I say...Imma sucker for the dark shaggy hair. Any color eyes is fine. Dark blue and dark brown are my favorites. BUT LOOK UP MY PICS ON THIS BLOG OF AUSTIN which I stole from his facebook...hahaha

But after Wednesday night...what do I want? I have no idea...I just want my soul mate...I don't wanna settle. I don't wanna date around. I just want to be happy. I wanna be in love with someone who loves me. And I want that to be okay...

For my opinions on soul mates and true love, go to http://www.iwillnotkeepmythoughtstomyself.blogspot.com/ and for everything about wednesday night, go to my Paranormal Blog which is gonna be changed to Spiritual Blog. Thanks, guys.