Condo in Cali and Naming Goldfish

Twitch and I have decided that when we turn 18, we're going to move to California and get a condo out there.

I wanna take summer classes in college. They are shorter than the semester classes, but you cover just as much material.

There are 3 Assemblies of God colleges out in Cali, and it's FAR away from Tennessee. I love it here, but the world is so much bigger than the place you grew up...I wanna travel. I wanna take vacations and see things that you couldn't see anywhere else. I wanna learn things about different cultures and history and junk.

Starting with Cali.

We have it all planned out: there's a really good music program in all three colleges. I'm gonna major in that and minor in world missions so I can travel with my music. And Twitch can take classes in music at the school I go to cuz she wants to major and minor in songwriting and...something. I forgot.

We've decided we're gonna have 5 mice, 3 kitties, 4 puppies, a monkey, a ferrit, and 100 goldfish. We will attempt to drown the goldfish in the bathtub.

Their names:

     -for the mice-
(1) black mouse #1:                        Leroy
(2) black mouse #2:                        Madam Uber Fluffy Skittles
(3) white mouse:                              Madam Uber Marshmallow Puff
(4) gray mouse:                               Chuckie Cheese
(5) brown mouse:                            Tom Cruise

     -for the puppies-
(1) brendle English Bulldog:              Jesus
(2) Border Collie:                            Kalru
(3) Pug:                                           Hikaru
(4) Beagle:                                       Cujo

     -for the kitties-
(1) Artemis
(2) Aphrodite
(3) Athena

     -for the ferrit-
(1) Ferrit Bueler

     -for the goldfish-

...I don't know...we didn't really talk about that part...I'll just make something up & she'll see it later and laugh hysterically. I'll name them after random shit that I find in the medicine cabinet and whatever illegal drugs I can think of off the top of my head.

(1)   Mary Jane
(2)   Marijuana
(3)   Pot
(4)   Cocaine
(5)   Crack
(6)   Pepto Bismal
(7)   Heroin
(8)   Benedril
(9)   Zyrtec
(10) Claritin
(11) Methylprednisolone
(12) Tri-Sprintec [yes, I'm naming my fish after my brand of birth control.]

I can't think of anymore...let's move onto diseases and medical problems.

(13) Stroke
(14) Heart Disease
(15) Brain Cancer
(16) Kidney Failure
(17) Ovarian Cist
(18) Leukemia
(19) Gonherrea
(20) Genital Warts

Now let's name some from the things you learn in sex ed

(21) Ovaries
(22) Filopian Tubes
(23) Testosterone
(24) Estrogen
(25) Ejaculation
(26) Jizz
(27) Cum
(28) Orgasm

And now we'll name some as states of being and ideas

(29) Sarcasm
(30) Irony
(31) Menepause

I'm not very good at this...let's name some after old people

(32) Rose
(33) Lulu
(34) Violet
(35) Frank
(36) George
(37) Harrold
(38) Bob
(39) Jim
(40) Bill

Now let's name some after hillbillies

(41) LuAnn
(42) Billy Bob
(43) Hank
(44) Molly
(45) Papa Joe

Now let's name some as...f*** I don't know...dead celebrities.

(46) Billy Mayes
(47) Michael Jackson
(48) Brittany Murphey
(49) Farrah Faucet
(50) er....Joan Rivers [whatever, she's close enough]
(51) Elvis Presley

Now let's name some after bands that used to be popular but have since split and/or died out or maybe are just really really old. This also includes any singers that applies to. This means they've been around for at LEAST a decade.

(52) the Beatles
(53) Soft Cell
(54) the Rolling Stones
(55) AC/DC
(56) Ozzy Osbourne
(57) the Jackson 5
(58) Lenny Kravitz
(59) Cheap Trick
(60) Aerosmith
(61) R.E.O. Speedwagon
(62) John Bon Jovie
(63) Guns 'N' Roses
(64) Poison
(65) Danzig
(66) Nirvana
(67) Twisted Sister

Now let's name some after the characters in random movies and childhood fairy tales

(68) Gammy Numnum
(69) Jaws
(70) Chuckie
(71) Freddie Krueger
(72) Jason
(73) Santa
(74) Toothfairy
(75) Easter Bunny
(76) Mother Goose

Now let's name them after the people I can't stand

(77) Ashley
(78) Tara

Actually, that's prolly tempt me to flush them...let's name them after Disney Channel stars instead [who I can't stand] and Nickelodeon actor people who's agents assume that they can automatically double as singers.

(77) Miley Cyrus
(78) Selena Gomez [Yes, she's hot. And talented. But she's on Disney Channel. Therefore she gets no                                  respect from me.]
(79) Vanessa Hudgens
(80) Zac Efron
(81) Taylor Swift [Twitch LOVES her. I can't for the life of me stand her because she's capable of doing so                              much more with her voice than what she does AND I still maintain that she sounds like she                             writes her songs based off of a diary she wrote back when she was 7. She's f***in 20.]
(82) Miranda Cosgrove [I liked her as Megan for Drake and Josh when that show was still playing                                       regularly. She was evil, therefore she was my favorite character. But iCarly f***in                                       SUCKS and she CANNOT sing.]

This is pissing me off. Let's name some after....hmm....the things listed on my school's write-up form.

(83) Homicide
(84) Attempted Homicide
(85) Stalking
(86) Attempted Stalking
(87) Bomb Threat
(88) Assault of a Student
(89) Assault of a Teacher
(90) Possession of a Weapon
(91) Sexual Harrassment

F*** there's prolly rape on that form. Hey! I'll name one that! I'll do theft while I'm at it.

(92) Rape
(93) Theft

Okay...now let's name them after the 7 deadly sins

(94) Gluttony
(95) Envy
(96) Lust
(97) Slander
(98) Gossip
(99) False Testimony

And now let's name one Sue.

(100) Sue.

The End!! Oh, and the monkey's name is Spike.