Background:
Paris Hilton got arrested for drug possession. She had a bag of crack and said that someone had dropped it and she picked it up cuz she thought it was gum. Despite the fact it was powder. In a Ziploc bag.
Also, me and Tay have all these jokes making fun of Paris Hilton, and we were watching House of Wax, and this commercial kept coming on about a zombie movie. And I was like making fun of Paris Hilton and I said "Zombies look like dinosaurs...I want one." and Taylor was like, "Daddy, go buy me a dinosaur!" and I was like "And make a zombie bite it."
We're talking right now.
Paris: Daddy! No! You got me the wrong one! This one's fat! Take it back and get me a skinny one with a 6-pack. No, daddy, it's not dangerous. It's a puppy. With a really big dick. Breed it with my chihuahua
Kim Kardashian enters
Kim: Paris! I'm borrowing some of your gum...
Paris: No, it's my floor gum! It's my special powder gum to keep you from getting fat because regular gum makes you fat. Just like food. Food makes you fat. Unless it's made of ice and water. And nobody likes a fat person.
Kim: Whatever... -takes-
Paris: No! It's mine!
Kim: -bakes into cookies-
Paris: No! Cookies make you fat. You're fat. You should kill yourself, fat person. Cuz you're fat. You and your big ass. Which is fat.
Khloe Kardashian enters
Khloe: -used splash which was super effective (Pokemon joke about MagiCarp)-
Paris: Ahh!! No!! You just got me all wet...that's hot. But, shit! I don't have my white T-shirt on....
Khloe: Paris, you're a whore.
Paris: Well, you're fat. And that's why you don't have friends. Cuz you're fat.
Khloe: -punches in face-
Paris: Ahh!! .....that's hot.....
Khloe: Wow...you're f***ing stupid.
Paris: .....what?
Dinosaur disappears
Paris: Wait...who took my puppy?
Kim: The cookies are done!!
Khloe: -om nom nom-
Paris: Wow...you're fat...
Khloe: I feel weird -barfs-
Paris: ......that's hot......
Paris turns to Kim
Paris: You bitch, you stole my puppy. I have to feed her. Guess she won't get her leaf of lettuce this week...
Kim: I didn't do anything. You're the bitch. -slaps-
Paris: Ouch... -touches face- wha....what did you do?
Kim: -turns to cookies- om nom nom
Paris: -pouts-
Martha Stewart enters
Martha: Butter butter butter butter butter....butter
Paris: Gross...you're fat. You eat a lot. You shouldn't eat. Eating is bad. Eating means food. Which makes you fat. Like you. Cuz you're fat.
Martha: Butter?
Paris: Yes, I just called you fat. Cuz you are. And you have no friends. Since you're fat.
Khloe: -grabs huge ass tub of butter and spoon- om nom nom
Paris: Ew....that's kinda hot....
Miley Cyrus enters
Miley: Howdy y'all!! Who wants some homeade jerky? I got it from my uncle. He's a cannible.
Paris: That's hot.
Kim: That's gross.
Khloe: -om nom nom-
Martha: Butter?
Miley: Yeah! Let's drown it in some butter. Nothin like the possibility of clogged arteries and a heart attack! -grabs Khloe's butter bucket, heats over fire til it's melted, dumps over people jerky til bucket is empty thereby filling whole room up past the countertops- Sweet nibblets! I can't swim! -drowns-
Paris: That's hot...you're hot...but you're fat. And I don't like fat people. Cuz they're fat.
Khloe: -slurps-
Kim: -also drowns-
Martha: Butter!!
Everyone dies. Room drains. Miley comes back from the dead.
Miley: Y'all are so funny, playin' dead like that!! Oops!! I done gone and peed myself from laughin!! Don't y'all know I can't die?? You're funny. You're too funny!! -dies from laughing-
The world is now a happy place, and the starving dinosaur comes back and eats all of their dead bodies.
The End
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