Becky the Lion

This is my sister. She wanted me to make her look like a lion. Haha Becky. Haha.

Paris Hilton Joke, South Park, and Corn Dogs

Twitch has the PERFECT Paris Hilton impersonating voice. It's hilarious.

We were watching House of Wax. Could NOT for the life of us take it seriously. It was between 1 and 4 in the morning. They kept playing this commercial about some zombie tv series thing that's coming out onto that channel. Being the smart ass I am, I couldn't resist.

"Zombies look like dinosaurs...I want one."

Me and Twitch were feeding off of each other. I said that. She said:

"Daddy, go buy me a dinosaur, then make a zombie bite it."

I don't even remember most of what we said...we were mostly yelling at her stupid character. I'll record us next time so I won't forget anything.

Last night, I was watchin South Park with her on the phone. Which led to this:

"What up with the random sheep?"

I can't remember the funny stuff!! D:

But I do remember this: the other night I was in my sisters' room and I wasn't wearing my contacts. I didn't know we had corn dogs. Brooke came in with a corn dog.

Me: Is that a corn dog?

Brooke: Nope, I deep fried my penis.

So, I wish I could remember the funny stuff cuz this didn't turn out right...

Mice (For Twitch)

Pregnant Fatties and Breaking Doors

Convo with Milky today. Nuff said.



Milky: Hey!

Me: Hey can i put our convo up from last night? It was hilarious!!

Milky: But but but!!!! Fine...make sure I'm credited for that shit! :D did you get the picture?

Me: I am and yes!! It was awesome!! Did u take it??

Milky: Yep I took dat hoe :D that was the best day of my freaking life that day, ooohhhh :D

Me: Haha

         im watchin childs play

         the kid is adorable!!!!!!!!! I want one

Milky: No Allison no!!! We don't want yougetting all fat and eating a lot!!! Besides!! Your boobie's will             drop a bit if you do!

Me: Thats only if ur fat

Milky: If u get pregnant u will get far!!! Lawl

Me: Will not!!

Milky: Yes u will!!!!:D and just accept it!!!

Me: I wont. Not gonna happen. And im callin the entry "my drunk friend milky"

        XP teehee

Milky: Lawl!!!! Do you use our conversations more than your other friends? Lol. And, Bahahahah

Me: Yes cuz ours are either debates or just funny

         i use twitch's stuff too

Milky: True true!!:) I jut got off the phone with Sydney. Sorry for late text back. I started a Facebook trend              lol. :D Bahahah. Oh, how are you ?

Me: Good i just watched the 2nd childs play movie

Milky: Lmao!!!:D I'm on the phone again, with her. Lol. Whatcha doing?

Me: I broke my sister's door!!

Milky: Bahahahahaahahahahahaah how!!!? And wowwwwwwww

Me: Pulled the bottom half off the hinges...

Milky: Bahahaha!! Wow!!!:D I just got off the phone lol.

My Drunk Friend Milky

I was textin Milky last night and this was HILARIOUS and I had to share it with you guys. Pay attention to the spelling - not the words.

I have a different convo from a few months ago that I'm puttin up on my Spiritual Blog.

Milky: Hey!

Milky: U know, u never gave me a detailed thingy....

Me: Hey sorry I didn't hear my phone

         and yeah Twitch stayed the night thats why...

Milky: Understandable. Next time u talk to her tell her I wanna talk to her but I deleted Facebook so I can't              unless she has another way. And, how are you?

Me: ***-***-**** <-- her cell

        she doesn't have textin tho

        and im alright. Party's next friday

Milky: I already have her cell. Lawl. I canr talk on the phone thoufh, Unlesd it's like pastr 12 am (midnight)             and, I knoe she doeesn't have texting. And I know rhe party is next Friday, sasd to say, I can't make             it =|

Me: Aw that sucks

        and tay is practicallyan insomniac so u can talk to her after 12

Milky: F*** yes!!!!:D she is no joke a real insomniac like mw? I'd she is that's amazing!!!:D I haven't met             one likr me yet!!!! :D and, yss I knor rifht?

Me: She can't sleep til after 4. Mostly paranoia. But she usually doesn't sleep unless shes with me

Milky: Lawl. Paranoia, thdtsa a funny worfd!!!! :D Ans, okay. Ima call her sometime! (: what s uo alli-            San!?

Me: Watchin family guy
         r u drunk?

Milky: Just a tad bir nor to mbad. And, awesome! I loveeeee peter lol!!!!:D

Me: How much is a tad bit? Ur slurring ur texts

        and me too XD

Milky: 26 lettas in ds alphabtet:D Linkin lark!:) thid shir is trippin me thenhell out!!!! Lawl!!' and yess!!!!!

Me: U mispelled linkin park. Fail.

         hahaha

Milky: Have hou heard this sonf????? It's tripptyyy as hell!!!! Lol. It's in their album,             "MMM...cookies" :DDSSDDDDDFDDDDD ababahahahahahahahahahah

Me: What song??

Milky: "26 leeters in the alphabet"!!!!! :DDDD lmao!! Omfg Ans "you ain't got the gotsta" Hahah. This              album is teippinf me rhenhell out!! Gosh! I'm flipping my shit!!

Me: Haha clearly

Milky: Whst does that mean!!??? Lol/ am im line clealrtly drunk? Bahah

Me: Repeat the question?

Milky: Whstat doesss that messn? Ans, am in like clearly drunk?

Me: Ans am in like clearly drunk.

        and am i like clearly drunk

        is that what u meant?

Milky: Yes!!! Lawllllllllll. Oops. My speellong is off...haha

Me: Ur speellong is off. Hadnt noticed :P haha

Milky: Hahahahahah!!! Ooosssss!!! Loll. I think I drank roo much...

Milky: Ohhhh emmm geee I found another borttttllleeee!!!:DDDD

Me: Oos u drank roo much and u found another bortle.

         imma keep pointing this stuff out XD

Milky: Bahahahahaahahahahahaah!!! Why??!!!!! Lawwlwlwlwlwlwlwlw!!!! Pets get freaky now let's get              fhcking freaky now :D freaks!!! BrokeNCyde!!!:D

Me: Cuz it entertains me

Milky: Lawl! What convo did Yoi use on your blog between us?

Me: The one about the religious perspective of the holocaust. And i havent got it up yet

Milky: Oh. You don't gave to pur me anony mous about that onr. Lawl.

Me: I know but that was before u started dating ali remember?

Milky: Your point? She knows I'm ahnostis

Me: Thats when u were askin me out before yall started dating

Milky: Your gonna put that up as well? Lawl. Idc. Lol.

Me: I have to it was part of it i saved the text so id have answers to debates about the holocaust

Milky: Lawl. It's fine. I don't mind.lol. I'm drunk remember? Yoiu have my full persmisssinn             allisonsssssssss<3 I loveeereerrsss you sisssssssssssss!!!!:D <3 bur how many fexts did yoinsave             because that ws a long as he'll cneversaition?

Me: I saved the whole conversation. I saved it on my laptop. And imma still put it up as anonymous cuz u         might change ur mind

Milky: Nooo!!!! I swear in won't chanfe my mind!!! So don't pur it as anonymous!!!!

Me: Okay...but like u said ur drunk. When ur sober again, r u sure u wont change ur mind?

Milky: Yes I'm completely sure bein drunk doesdnr hurt my decisnon making procsees one bit.

Me: Teehee procsees

Milky: What?!!! Hahah

Me: U said procsees

Milky: So what? Lolll

Me: I find it funny...the typos

Milky: Donr make fun od my drhbkedness!!!

Me: Bahaahahahahahahahaha

        drbkedness!!

Milky: What!!!? Lol. Stop makinf fun of me!!

Me: Bahahahahahahaha

Milky: What??!!! Jeeze chill!!!

Me: Its so funny!!

Milky: How??)?!!

Me: Im readin it out loud

         its hilarious

1 More Week...

So, my birthday is next saturday. I'm turning 16. I'm having this huge party thing. We rented out the auditorium at Singleton and I'm having about 100 people there.

See originally, I had a list of 102 people outside of family and mom was gonna try to get ahold of Ryan or Chad to see if Nickelback would play (she's cool with the band. Like I said, she's a stripper, so she meets people.) But Ryan recently got married and she couldn't get ahold of Chad so I got a friend's band playing.

I was gonna have Deadfall Rd. play cuz David - last I checked - kinda liked me....

BUT I've been friends with Luke since 5th grade. And he's an epic drummer. Plus Alec has played guitar for 7 or 8 years now and he's AMAZING so they'll be great.

But, see, I have this problem...I sorta intentionally invited both Josh and Wheeler mostly to make Nick feel uncomfortable cuz he can't bring his gf...and Austin will be there...I guess as my date...

I'm not trying to make him jealous. I'm not trying to use anyone. I'm definately not trying to hurt anyone...I just wanna be around the people who I care about. But...I don't know...I love Nick...I...I don't know what to expect with him and Austin together. I don't want drama.

But I know for a fact that I can't make Austin happy. Even if I tried. He may think I can but...if I can't be happy with him, he can't be happy with me. No one can be genuinely happy in a non-lasting relationship. I mean, it's inevitable that we break up. So why start something that's destined to fail?

Every relationship has two potential results: you get married or you break up. It's just the way it is...
I know I won't marry Austin. He's not the one. And if he's with me, it holds him back from finding the right person...it's selfish...besides, I love Nick...what am I trying to prove? I guess I wanna scare him a little...but that's not the only reason I like Austin.

Why can't it be easier? When two people are meant to be together, it's insanely obvious to everyone around them BUT them. I know it. Nick...I hope he knows...f*** I hate this. How am I supposed to see him next week and pretend that I'm happy? I know I have to...and Twitch wants in on it as my accomplice haha. But...I don't know...I can't stand the person I have to be right now...but I don't have much of a choice...

Condo in Cali and Naming Goldfish

Twitch and I have decided that when we turn 18, we're going to move to California and get a condo out there.

I wanna take summer classes in college. They are shorter than the semester classes, but you cover just as much material.

There are 3 Assemblies of God colleges out in Cali, and it's FAR away from Tennessee. I love it here, but the world is so much bigger than the place you grew up...I wanna travel. I wanna take vacations and see things that you couldn't see anywhere else. I wanna learn things about different cultures and history and junk.

Starting with Cali.

We have it all planned out: there's a really good music program in all three colleges. I'm gonna major in that and minor in world missions so I can travel with my music. And Twitch can take classes in music at the school I go to cuz she wants to major and minor in songwriting and...something. I forgot.

We've decided we're gonna have 5 mice, 3 kitties, 4 puppies, a monkey, a ferrit, and 100 goldfish. We will attempt to drown the goldfish in the bathtub.

Their names:

     -for the mice-
(1) black mouse #1:                        Leroy
(2) black mouse #2:                        Madam Uber Fluffy Skittles
(3) white mouse:                              Madam Uber Marshmallow Puff
(4) gray mouse:                               Chuckie Cheese
(5) brown mouse:                            Tom Cruise

     -for the puppies-
(1) brendle English Bulldog:              Jesus
(2) Border Collie:                            Kalru
(3) Pug:                                           Hikaru
(4) Beagle:                                       Cujo

     -for the kitties-
(1) Artemis
(2) Aphrodite
(3) Athena

     -for the ferrit-
(1) Ferrit Bueler

     -for the goldfish-

...I don't know...we didn't really talk about that part...I'll just make something up & she'll see it later and laugh hysterically. I'll name them after random shit that I find in the medicine cabinet and whatever illegal drugs I can think of off the top of my head.

(1)   Mary Jane
(2)   Marijuana
(3)   Pot
(4)   Cocaine
(5)   Crack
(6)   Pepto Bismal
(7)   Heroin
(8)   Benedril
(9)   Zyrtec
(10) Claritin
(11) Methylprednisolone
(12) Tri-Sprintec [yes, I'm naming my fish after my brand of birth control.]

I can't think of anymore...let's move onto diseases and medical problems.

(13) Stroke
(14) Heart Disease
(15) Brain Cancer
(16) Kidney Failure
(17) Ovarian Cist
(18) Leukemia
(19) Gonherrea
(20) Genital Warts

Now let's name some from the things you learn in sex ed

(21) Ovaries
(22) Filopian Tubes
(23) Testosterone
(24) Estrogen
(25) Ejaculation
(26) Jizz
(27) Cum
(28) Orgasm

And now we'll name some as states of being and ideas

(29) Sarcasm
(30) Irony
(31) Menepause

I'm not very good at this...let's name some after old people

(32) Rose
(33) Lulu
(34) Violet
(35) Frank
(36) George
(37) Harrold
(38) Bob
(39) Jim
(40) Bill

Now let's name some after hillbillies

(41) LuAnn
(42) Billy Bob
(43) Hank
(44) Molly
(45) Papa Joe

Now let's name some as...f*** I don't know...dead celebrities.

(46) Billy Mayes
(47) Michael Jackson
(48) Brittany Murphey
(49) Farrah Faucet
(50) er....Joan Rivers [whatever, she's close enough]
(51) Elvis Presley

Now let's name some after bands that used to be popular but have since split and/or died out or maybe are just really really old. This also includes any singers that applies to. This means they've been around for at LEAST a decade.

(52) the Beatles
(53) Soft Cell
(54) the Rolling Stones
(55) AC/DC
(56) Ozzy Osbourne
(57) the Jackson 5
(58) Lenny Kravitz
(59) Cheap Trick
(60) Aerosmith
(61) R.E.O. Speedwagon
(62) John Bon Jovie
(63) Guns 'N' Roses
(64) Poison
(65) Danzig
(66) Nirvana
(67) Twisted Sister

Now let's name some after the characters in random movies and childhood fairy tales

(68) Gammy Numnum
(69) Jaws
(70) Chuckie
(71) Freddie Krueger
(72) Jason
(73) Santa
(74) Toothfairy
(75) Easter Bunny
(76) Mother Goose

Now let's name them after the people I can't stand

(77) Ashley
(78) Tara

Actually, that's prolly tempt me to flush them...let's name them after Disney Channel stars instead [who I can't stand] and Nickelodeon actor people who's agents assume that they can automatically double as singers.

(77) Miley Cyrus
(78) Selena Gomez [Yes, she's hot. And talented. But she's on Disney Channel. Therefore she gets no                                  respect from me.]
(79) Vanessa Hudgens
(80) Zac Efron
(81) Taylor Swift [Twitch LOVES her. I can't for the life of me stand her because she's capable of doing so                              much more with her voice than what she does AND I still maintain that she sounds like she                             writes her songs based off of a diary she wrote back when she was 7. She's f***in 20.]
(82) Miranda Cosgrove [I liked her as Megan for Drake and Josh when that show was still playing                                       regularly. She was evil, therefore she was my favorite character. But iCarly f***in                                       SUCKS and she CANNOT sing.]

This is pissing me off. Let's name some after....hmm....the things listed on my school's write-up form.

(83) Homicide
(84) Attempted Homicide
(85) Stalking
(86) Attempted Stalking
(87) Bomb Threat
(88) Assault of a Student
(89) Assault of a Teacher
(90) Possession of a Weapon
(91) Sexual Harrassment

F*** there's prolly rape on that form. Hey! I'll name one that! I'll do theft while I'm at it.

(92) Rape
(93) Theft

Okay...now let's name them after the 7 deadly sins

(94) Gluttony
(95) Envy
(96) Lust
(97) Slander
(98) Gossip
(99) False Testimony

And now let's name one Sue.

(100) Sue.

The End!! Oh, and the monkey's name is Spike.